Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sunday snippets: the week that was

Alistair attempting to crawl, he can't yet...
Posting wedding invitations.
One of my bridesmaids with Alistair
Charlie reading "Nursies when the sun shines" to Alistair.
Me with Charlie & Alistair.
Tyson , Charlie & Cody washing the car.
Cody spinning in circles.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Bloggers Boogie

I have joined up with the Bloggers Boogie.
I have decided to post 5 songs that each have a story or memory behind them for me:

was one of the first songs I ever learnt how to play on guitar. It was one of my favourite songs in high school. This reminds me of the time i played this with my little brother, he played Bass guitar.Sadly he passed away in August 2007. He was always the one telling me to do things, if i really wanted to do it even if others were telling me i couldn't possible achieve it.
Garth brooks - standing outside the fire by rawestern Such a powerful video clip.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Where Have I been?

Well not today or this week, or next week...
But in February next year ! I have been busy doing the planning and organising of this.  I have organised everything but car hire, and suits  (for groom and groomsmen and our 3 older boys) and bridesmaid dresses and flowers, flowergirl dress etc. 

We plan to keep it small and intimate, (less then 50 adults). Allan's mum was diagnosed with Mylenoma and is about to start treatment, so I came up with the idea to bring the wedding plans forward so she can be well enough to attend and see the wedding.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sunday Snippets

A week in pictures.
Charlie pretending to breastfeed his doll
Charlie with the bow from my wedding dress
Charlie playing golf in the backyard
Tyson and Alistair.
The pettiskirt I am currently working on.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Photo a Day challenge

I have been participating in a fellow blogger's Photo a day challenge. It is great fun, This month I intend to eidt this post and add my photos as i take them. I am also posting them on Instagram.

1. Where I stood. This is my stance on Immunisations (check out this post for more info )

2. Lunchtime... Who doesn't enjoy a lunchtime nap?

3. This happened today... a much needed nap...

4. What I read.  The ABA pre-enrolment info (link to courses here)

5. Shadow my shadow while wearing my ergo baby carrier with Alistair in it.

6. I'm thankful For... Naptime. Yes he is smiling in his sleep, it's pretty cute. I also love how close these two are despite an almost 4 year age gap.

7. Light.

8. Angle.... corner of a square plate.

9. Red... a red pen. Yes that is an upside down cow in the background.

10. Emotion...Brotherly Love

11.  Something Close Up. Alistair...

12. On the Table. dairy free banana chia seed & poppy seed muffins they are also sugar free.

13. Landscape.

14. Makes You Laugh. Allan & Charlie...

15. Dinnertime. Charlie eating noodles.

16. Something I wrote... Music choices for my upcoming wedding. (i have since changed my mind on these choices )

17. Fruit...Orange Wedges

18. Made me Smile today. Alistair.

19. Letters. well they are emails...

20. 4'oclock.

21.  Calm. He is teething at the moment.

22.  In your town.

Toxic friends & family members

Everyone has heard of Toxic friends , but not so much toxic family members. Why is that? Is it because people will tolerate toxic family members more?
Everyone should get rid of their toxic friends is a great article to read.
Toxic Pals? is also a good read.

Now say you have realised you have a toxic friend or family member, what should you do? When should you demand change ?

What are the signs indicating that you could use a break or change?

-Your own health and mental well-being is damaged
-You feel emotionally, physically and/or spiritually injured
-The relationships with your immediate family/spouse/partner is suffering
-There is violence, physical and/or emotional abuse
-There is substance abuse
-There are constant struggles for power
-There is unnecessary distrust and disrespect

What to do, how to get out…

1. Get group help. If it’s possible and your family/family member is up for it, get counselling.
2. If it’s possible move out. Move in with a friend, your partner, an extended family member. Get to a place where people want to be with you, try to move into a nurturing environment.
3. Accept your parents or family member’s limitations. Know that you don’t have to repeat their behaviour. You are not them.
4. Allow yourself to get angry. Use it productively. Exercise. Do sports. Use art and creative expression. Write in a journal. Don’t withhold your emotions.
5. Seek guidance for yourself. Talk to someone, a counsellor, a life coach, your yoga teacher—anyone who will listen, someone you feel comfortable with. Ask for help with change and with taking risks.
6. Limit your time. Do whatever it takes to limit the amount of time you have to spend with the toxic family/family member. Limit visits, holidays, do what you can to prevent as much conflict as possible.
7.  Set healthy boundaries. Try to not allow yourself to get sucked back in. You can love and wish them the best from a distance.
8.  Learn ways to protect yourself. Practice meditation. Learn to be patient with yourself and others.
9.  Become aware of yourself. Observe your reactions. Become more self-aware in order to break negative patterns as much as you can.
10. Practice doing good things for yourself. Do things that build self-esteem. Do things you enjoy. Invite others that love you along.
11. Create balance in your life. Take care of yourself physically and eat a balanced healthy diet. Be aware and be cautious of things you may do compulsively (eating, shopping, drinking, etc)
12. Take charge of your life and your happiness. Don’t wait for others to give it to you.

Is it wrong to hold grudges (is life too short)? (from here)

5 types of toxic friends  had me nodding and thinking of quite a few people in my life who fitted these.

I will tell you a story, i won't name names in it for privacy sake of the person who disclosed this story to me.

"I had a Toxic person in my life, no matter what I did I felt like, they were almost like a stalker. Trying to be me, dressing like me, doing things like me. At first i thought of it as a sign of flattery but i started to see this person didn't really have a sense of self, any attempt to get them to be themselves would be met with accusations that I was horrible.

A few years of not talking to this person, went by. Then a family member died, I started talking to them. Then, the same patterns appeared and this person went as far as to spread rumors to anyone who knew me or had heard of me. So I booted them out of my life again , for the second time.

They came crawling back, and proved 2 more times, they won't change their patterns. Nor will they accept they can not be me or have my life. The final straw was when I texted them to announce some good news and I got abuse as a reply.  I told myself, enough i enough, I will no longer allow you to make me feel inferior and abuse me. No more chances. "

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Vaccinations and choices

Tshirt from Bongo Baby

Alistair  has only got one  vaccination shot (he got the Hep B one at birth with the Vit K shot), he won't be having anymore anytime soon.  We filled out a conscientious objection form with a GP.Charlie will not be getting his 4 year old ones either.

Do Dr's have to sign CO Forms? is an interesting read on this subject. 

I personally had no trouble or issues arise in getting a Dr to sign the form.

This Blog post covers all the info on what happens if you do not vaccinate and get Centrelink payments.

Now there has been talk of losing Family Tax payments if you do not vaccinate this is not true. From the Centrelink website:

Immunisation exemptions

If there is an approved reason why your child is not fully immunised and you want an immunisation exemption, you need to provide us with one of the following from your immunisation provider or doctor:
  • A Medical Contraindication form
  • a Conscientious Objection form, or
  • a letter explaining why the exemption is necessary. (from here)

Immunisation requirements for Family Tax Benefit Part A supplement

From 1 July 2012, parents will need to have had their children immunised during the financial years that each child turns one, two and five years of age to meet the immunisation requirement for the Family Tax Benefit Part A supplement for that period.
To meet the immunisation requirements, children will need to be ‘fully immunised’, be on a recognised immunisation catch up schedule, or have an approved exemption. Read more aboutimmunising your children.  (from here )

What about School enrolment etc? you ask. Well it is actually against the law to not allow an enrolment based on lack of immunisations. All that happens is if there is a vaccine preventable outbreak there is an exclusion period from school, kinder etc.  (read here for info) and this type of exclusion if there is an outbreak can extend to playgroups (see here for info)

Alistair's birth story

Alistair's debut to the world was different to my other 3 boys, he was my first csection.
I had always sworn black and blue I would never have a csection, if I had any choice about it. Well, by 30 weeks it was becoming clear I was going to have my first csection I had grade 4 placenta previa. Gone were the waterbirth fantasies.

I was given 2 shots of steroids at 31 weeks incase he decided to come early. I got admitted to hospital at 33 weeks along and there I stayed till my baby was born.

In hospital every time I had a bleed I would have ctg monitoring and an iv put in just incase I got sent to theatre. They also had blood on stand by incase I had a big bleed. I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital, at first I wasn't allowed to leave the ward but after a week I got to go to the cafeteria 3 floors below.

As the day of the planned csection drew closer, I got more nervous. I had read all the research and info on the risks and had listened to my OB who had not sugar coated the risks.

On July 23rd:
My biggest fear was having to have a general anesthetic and then not being awake to see my baby until i woke up.

When i was in the room just before the operating theatre and they were trying to  get the spinal block needle in , i overheard one of the dr's say they couldn't get it in. I started to cry as I had been told if they couldn't get it in, it would mean a general and Allan would have to wait in recovery for me. 3 attempts later I was wheeled into the theater very freaked out.

My arms were slowly attached to various IV's , I had tubes coming out of my arms everywhere.  I was given a rundown again of what I would feel and what would happen again as they got the curtain ready.  When everything was all ready to go, one of the anaesthetist said I was doing really well. And I was shocked to learn it had started.

I could hear lots of suction happening and couldn't see what was going on. Then the two anaesthetists both said "He is a good size" as they poked their heads to catch a glimpse. Allan got called over to where the midwife was weighing our newborn.  He stayed with our baby while i was stitched up etc. I apparently lost 500ml of blood during the csection. I got wheeled into recovery and all i wanted to do was hold my baby.

I had spent 1 month in hospital trying to keep him in the womb and now he was finally here at 37 weeks and 2 days.  I had to wait for the IV's to be unhooked and for meds to be given before i got to hold him, but those few minutes of waiting were worth it. Once he was in my arms I didn't want to let him go. He breastfeed in recovery and all the way back to my room on the maternity ward.

Back in my room, it felt surreal, I hadn't gone into labor, yet I had this baby.  I couldn't walk around and felt dependant on others which bugged me a lot. It seemed all over so quickly, the csection had taken less then 1 hour. We didn't have a name picked before his birth, i ended up telling Allan to choose a name because I couldn't think of any. He chose:

Alistair Ryan

Birth Time2:12pm.
Weight 3690grams (8lb 2oz)
Length: 48cm ( 18& 1/2 inches)
Head : 35.5cm (13& 3/4 inches)
Born at 37 weeks & 2 days gestation.